The Joy of Uber Driving Read online

  Praise for The Joy of Uber Driving

  “The Joy of Uber Driving is a wild, nostalgic ‘soul retrieval’ road trip that weaves true tales from her Uber driving experience (at age seventy-nine!) blended with her life-review-in-the-rearview-mirror stories. It skillfully blends humor, warmth, pathos, insight, and inspiration . . . and, at the very least, will give you an enormous respect for your next Uber driver.”

  —Kelly Sullivan Walden, dream expert and best-selling coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Soul: Dreams and Premonitions

  “This is a portrait of one woman’s journey into self-love that will reach to the very core of every woman’s heart. The raw honesty and insight Yamini shares with us through her challenges and interactions ignites the spark of hope in all of us. And you’ll be taken over by her unexpected humor and her lightheartedness. Take the joyful ride and read this book—it will delight you!”

  —Agapi Stassinopoulos, best-selling author of Wake Up to the Joy of You

  “Yamini has turned up the volume on her extraordinary life. You’ll be riveted by this memoir. Her storytelling is at times intensely raw and insightful and at other times unexpectedly hilarious as she weaves in meaningful Uber stories with her own personal stories.”

  —Jill Lublin, international speaker and four-time best-selling author

  “Uber drivers and passengers will enjoy the escapades of Yamini Redewill as riders reveal their deep inner longings in the backseat of her Prius. Sometimes ‘therapist’ and sometimes ‘cheerleader,’ Redewill touches hearts as she shares stories from the lives of her passengers, along with her own roller coaster journey to fulfillment.”

  —Randy Peyser, author of Crappy to Happy

  “Yamini Redewill takes us on an insightful ride into her creative world, interweaving her life experiences with those of her passengers. A MUST READ!”

  —Judith Morton Fraser, LMFT, author of What’s So Good About “Bad” Feelings? and Grandmas Never Die

  Copyright © 2019 by Yamini Redewill

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, digital scanning, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, please address She Writes Press.

  Published June 2019

  Printed in the United States of America

  Print ISBN: 978-1-63152-567-4

  E-ISBN: 978-1-63152-568-1

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2019932779

  For information, address:

  She Writes Press

  1569 Solano Ave #546

  Berkeley, CA 94707

  She Writes Press is a division of SparkPoint Studio, LLC.

  Names and identifying characteristics have been changed to protect the privacy of certain individuals.

  Dedication

  At this time, it has become clear to me that I wrote this book as an incentive for women who feel abused, unworthy, and unable to defend themselves against the misogynous tyranny that has existed for centuries. The fact that it has become the big news of the day fits perfectly with my life’s purpose and the work I have done through my art as my contribution to the awakening of our society toward justice, equality, and self-love.

  I dedicate this book to the #MeToo movement, even though I claim complicity as a victim because of my upbringing, which blinded me to the truth of this inequity. My victimhood ran very deep and affected every aspect of my life unknowingly until my life lessons and spiritual teachers led me to the truth of who I am. I hope there will be some who recognize something of themselves in my story.

  I also dedicate this book to the Uber Corporation, which has provided myself and thousands of single women over fifty the opportunity to be self-sufficient in a totally equitable and supportive way.

  CONTENTS

  Introduction

  1

  Forever Young

  May Your Wishes All Come True

  2

  My Heart Belongs to Daddy

  So Take a Hike, Laddie

  3

  That Old Black Magic

  Blinds Me with Love

  4

  Let Me Entertain You

  Pleeeze?!

  5

  What’s Love Got to Do with It?

  Absolutely Nothing!

  6

  Strawberry Fields Forever

  Adventures in Alternate Realities

  7

  I Will Survive

  Goddammit!

  8

  If You Could Read My Mind

  You Probably Need a Psychiatrist

  9

  Isn’t She Lovely

  A Gift for Another Mother

  10

  Somewhere Over the Rainbow

  A Lesson in Miracles

  11

  Happy Days Are Here Again

  In La-La Land

  12

  I’m a Believer

  My Fate Was Sealed When I Saw His Face

  13

  Up, Up, and Away

  To Unchartered Territory

  14

  I Feel the Earth Move

  It’s a Seismic Awakening!

  15

  What I Did for Love

  And Love Is All There Is

  16

  I Can See Clearly Now

  An Artist and Dabbler in the Supernatural

  17

  The Age of Aquarius

  Starfair Visionary Arts Expo Is Birthed

  18

  She Works Hard for the Money

  The Art of Housecleaning

  19

  You’ve Got a Friend

  One Dies, One Is Born, and Two New BFFs

  20

  I’ve Got to Use My Imagination

  Musical Pillows and LED Shoes

  21

  Dream Weaver

  Humanimal Rises from the Ashes

  22

  Wind Beneath My Wings

  A Joyful Unexpected Reunion

  23

  Send in the Clowns

  Compliments of Match.com

  24

  Imagine

  A Retirement Community of Loving Friends

  25

  The Greatest Love of All

  My Soul’s Purpose Revealed

  26

  What a Feeling

  I Took My Passion and Made It Happen

  27

  Finding My Way Back Home

  Who Knew It Would Be in Marin?

  28

  Be

  A Light unto Yourself

  29

  Hallelujah

  Says It All

  About the Author

  INTRODUCTION

  As an Uber driver since 2015, I realize that I have a special mission: to be a source of light and levity touching every one of my passengers with truth, humor, and unconditional love. I always thought I was going to do it on a grand scale, with dreams of fame and fortune as a singer/actress using beautiful words and lyrics written by someone else. But it was not meant to be. Instead, I’m able to impact a few people at a time on a personal level with the love and wisdom I’ve gained through years of conscious learning and practice. And now, I’m using Uber to deliver my memoir interspersed with intriguing personal stories from my passengers that coincide with my own stories. I’ve named each chapter after a song from the sixties, seventies, and eighties because of my deep love of music and the meaningful songs of that period.

  Being an Uber driver has opened up a whole new world to me where I relate to people of
all ages and ethnicities and recognize that “they are me.” I have witnessed real and meaningful transformations in short periods of time through our interactions. These sacred moments in time give me hope that humanity is malleable and open to becoming more and more conscious. It has also given me a vehicle for my own transformation in that I’m able to stop myself from judging my riders or making assumptions about them before giving them a chance to reveal their true nature.

  As shame fueled generations of women to not speak up, my story begins with a natural setup for feminine shame: when I was born, the name I was given was Frances Hamilton Redewill after my father and my grandfather, because I was supposed to be a boy, Francis Hamilton Redewill III. They never even stopped to consider a girl’s name, but at least they changed it from Francis to Frances to comply with my gender. I believe that was the origin of my shame as a woman. As an adult many years later, my name would be changed by my spiritual master, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, later known as Osho. He gave me the name Yamini, meaning “going beyond the night” into a life of consciousness.

  The second incidence of shame to influence my behavior came as a result of my father being a chauvinistic womanizer who chased (literally) after other women in front of my mother and me and treated these women as though they were far more important and interesting than my mother. I grew up thinking this kind of behavior was normal and that I could be interesting only as a sex object to men in order to get love or success as the singer/actress I’d dedicated myself to becoming. Beneath these thoughts was the subconscious belief that if I got married, I would end up being ignored and unloved just as my mother was.

  Writing this memoir has made me connect the dots to so many seemingly incongruent events. I realized that the bulk of my life has been about plunging head first into situations with blind passion and either loving the consequences or, after a period of grief, accepting failures as lessons for my growth. It’s also been about making the choice to live my life, not somebody else’s. I can say, without hesitation, that by most standards, the choices I made in my twenties were from a reckless, scattered, unconscious, self-centered, and a low-self-esteem frame of mind. In my thirties and forties, I was an unhappy and confused spiritual seeker who was unlucky at love but unwittingly lucky to land a job as head of wardrobe at CBS, and I found my spiritual center. My fifties and sixties brought me to a place of many forms of creativity and leadership training in which I experienced new avenues of success and a new perception of what was possible for my life. However, I was still single and alone and not totally okay with it. Finally, in my seventies, I found the truth of who I am, why I am, and how true happiness and a youthful spirit has evolved and defined this woman known as Yamini.

  As you read my story, you will discover that this is not a “how-to” book giving you everything you need to get skinnier, live longer, look younger, or become financially rich and successful. It’s also not an epic love story with a Hollywood ending. It’s more like an Eat, Pray, Love mixed with a What the Bleep Do We Know? kind of story that reveals the inner workings of a perpetually single woman, manifesting sometimes devastating, usually melodramatic, but always spiritually relevant events in her life that bring her closer to true happiness along with the existential joy of Uber driving. It is the unfolding of a bona fide #MeToo-er who evolved into a loving and self-loved woman.

  Our whole world is reeling and careening out of control as, more and more, we are witnessing violent actions caused from psychiatric issues within our fragile society. I was moved to tears by Oprah Winfrey’s speech at the 2018 Golden Globes. This icon filled the massive black hole in all our lives created by our insane president who dominates the news every day with one hellish bombshell after another. As “A new day is on the horizon!” was forcefully proclaimed by Oprah and tears poured from my eyes, I realized how much we needed to hear her impassioned speech and tell our stories and be witnessed.

  I listen to my Uber passengers’ stories. I hear some of their deepest longings. And so, knowing what is needed now, I am offering my memoir as a tribute to all the #MeToo-ers who have stood up and told their truth, and to all the ones who will stand up in the future, and to all the men who have daughters who care about their futures, and to all the good men who truly know a woman’s worth and honor it.

  Hallelujah! A new day is on the horizon!

  FOREVER YOUNG

  May Your Wishes All Come True!

  It has now been over two years since I signed up to be an Uber driver in the Bay Area in 2015, and it is with an ironic sense of pride that I tell my friends and acquaintances, “I’m an Uber driver.” After seventy-eight years on this planet, navigating the corkscrew twists and turns of my life from a privileged but unhappy childhood, through failures and successes and extramarital affairs in Hollywood, to experimental immersions into various forms of spirituality and personal empowerment workshops, I now find myself uncommonly happy as a single woman, driving twenty-plus hours a week for Uber.

  From the time I was a seven-year-old girl named Frances, as an aspiring singer and actress, I perceived that the spotlight was always on me. My reality was more like a movie, with improvised scripts, a soundtrack, supporting actors, and an audience following me everywhere on my way to stardom. I could never have imagined that instead of being a famous singer or movie star, I would end up behind the wheel of my own glorified taxicab. How could I know that when I grew up, instead of playing in large movie houses, I would be ad-libbing to a captured audience of one to four people about seven times a day? But more often than not, I would be listening to my back-seat audience and receiving wisdom and insight on a daily basis. Being an Uber driver has taught me the valuable lesson of deep listening and relating to each passenger on an intuitive level. I have come to believe that every encounter is an important thread in my life’s tapestry. However brief and however subtle, each one provides a new awareness of myself and my interconnection to all living things, edging me closer and closer to the truth of who I am.

  Throughout my childhood I didn’t feel I fit anywhere, so I found comfort in my daydreams and on the stage, with stage lights separating me from everyone else. Consciousness had a circuitous route in my life, and only when I came close to suicide did it round the corner to meet me. Until then, nothing in my life worked or made sense, least of all love.

  Do you remember when you drove your first car? Did the unmistakable feeling of power and freedom mesmerize you like it did me? Did you think anything was possible for your life back then? I know when I clutched the wheel of my mom’s ’55 red-and-white Chevy Bel-Air convertible in the summer of my fifteenth year and pulled out of the driveway with my hair waving wildly in the wind, I thought I was going in a straight line to fame and fortune. I had the looks, the hair, the talent, and the smarts. My daddy’s rich and my mama’s good lookin’. What could possibly go wrong?

  The most exasperating but wonderful thing about life is that it is unscripted and unpredictable but always open for re-interpretations and rewrites. Little did I know then how many twists and turns it would take to hurtle me from one set of realities to another in order to grow me into the person I was destined to become (and am still becoming).

  All I knew at that age was that I was a gifted artist, singer, and actress, loving all the attention and applause I got. It was obvious to me that being on stage was my ticket to happiness. Applause after every song—that’s what happiness was all about! Being narcissistically optimistic, I honestly believed that was all that I needed to achieve supreme happiness, judging from all the happy Hollywood endings in the movies I loved. How could I know that in the real world, this was a path that would lead to long-term depression and near self-destruction?

  PING! (This is the sound my Uber app makes when I’m being summoned by a potential rider). I was directed to the financial district near Market Street where a young girl named Lorelei in her early twenties stood. As I drove up, she hopped into the back seat and we exchanged greetings. Soon, she started rummaging t
hrough a large bag and drew out a slinky black dress and some flashy jewelry. To my amazement, she pulled down her brown wool leggings, pulled off her sweater, and then wriggled into the dress rather dexterously in the small back-seat area. She seemed unconcerned about possible gawkers. She then replaced her walking shoes with spike heels and stuffed her work clothes in the bag. Breathlessly, after achieving this feat in record time, she apologized and then began to perform a hair and makeup do-over. While applying eyeliner, she explained that she was going to audition as a singer at a well-known club on Broadway and she was very nervous. (For those who don’t know San Francisco, Broadway is in North Beach and has rows of strip clubs). Without makeup, she was a naturally pretty girl crowned with copper-colored hair tied in a knot, who looked too sweet and naive to be in that environment. I mentioned that I had been a singer myself once, and she said, “Oh really? How exciting! Were you with a band?”

  I shook my head, “No, not really.”

  I told her about my life as an aspiring actress and singer in Hollywood and then told her to be very careful, as people are not always what they seem. “The best thing to do is follow your gut instinct and be true to yourself. If they want you to do something that doesn’t feel right, chances are it isn’t.”

  I watched as she artfully transformed herself into a striking beauty with large, green, doe-like eyes and long wavy hair cascading over her shoulders. When I let her off at her destination, I wished her well, and she thanked me and told me not to worry. She disappeared, spike heels and all, into what I would call a black hole on Broadway. I whispered a silent prayer for her and answered another ping.

  Being an Uber driver can sometimes turn you into a surrogate therapist, a counselor, a cheerleader, a mother, a friend, or just a listening post. At my age, I have a depth of experience to draw from, and because my life has been filled with so many wildly diverse situations, I seem to be able to relate to a large number of people in a personal way. It is an honor to be of service in this manner every day, and every day brings new adventures and new possibilities for my own reflection and growth. I hope I meet this girl again one day and find out if she succeeded as an entertainer and stayed true to herself.